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Sunday, October 6, 2013

Mard Ko Bhi Dard Hota Hai................



My mind is reeling with a whirlwind of thoughts. A bit of vacillation a bit of uncertainty, whether to pour out my heart on this insignificant issue. How many people will reverberate with my feelings? 

After the Delhi and Mumbai rape case, numerous debates & speculation had been conducted on the recent crimes against women. Demands for Law amendments, better security, women’s liberation and empowerment have been soaring since then. Undeniably women are known to be the inferior sex. Numerous initiatives and movements are in progress towards Women’s amelioration. But not even once I hear about men’s predicament. Following the heinous incidents, we perceive all men’s to be either rapist, misogynist, masculinist. The same men we call our father, husband, brother or son. Never saw anybody advocating towards male emancipation. Are they not belong to human race?

Remember the old poem "Girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice; boys are made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails." Is it not bigotry?



Last year I received a random message form a girl on my FB page asking whether am Anurag’s school mate. ANURAG my seventh standard class mate and who got in touch through social media over fifteen years. Out of inquisitiveness, I talked to her for some time. After few minutes of chatting, she informed me about his untimely demise. Shell shocked, I couldn’t breath for a while. Embracing my wits, I conveyed my condolence and inquest about the mishap. Another shocker bounced. His wife of one month filed a false case against the whole family including his sister’s one year old daughter. Police came to apprehend the whole family at midnight. Around that period Anurag was working in another city. He was shocked and panicked as it was his love marriage. He could not believe that the girl who once claimed to love him so much filed a false against him.He along with two other friends soon started off to Lucknow. On the way his car collided with the truck and all three young boys died on the spot. After a month of his death, another case of domestic violence along with 498a was registered by the girl. It’s been three years now and this ironlady is fighting for her dead brother’s dignity. She is an MRA activist and now helping other martyrs of false cases against biased laws.


If women want to file a complaint, there is a provision of recording it as a criminal complaint under national statistic of crime against women but if male goes with an authentic grievance, they merely have to console with non cognizable offence. Due to these serious loopholes in our laws, it termed as a legal terrorism for men and their families.



There is another famous case of Munish Dalal, who suffered nine years jail imprisonment due to misuse of dowry law by his wife. He along with his family has been acquitted by Noida court after continuous 10 year ordeal. Adding more to their dilemma, the government incorporated the incident in NCERT textbooks that is still taught to children in Class VI. Later the girl’s charge junked due to her confession of an affair and cooking up a false story to wriggle out from nuptial. Will anything bring back his lost ten years?



Remember Capt Saurabh Kalia who fought for his country in kargil war 1999.The brave soldier was badly treated by Pakistan troops. His body was mutilated to unbearable extent. Since then his father an ex-air force personnel is running pillar to post and still struggling to prove his death as crime. We have signed so many petitions against rape’s, marched candle lights for the victims , made black bindi images as out profile pictures against crime towards women. But this old man is fighting alone for justice. 



Have we ever stand-up or demanded justice for a man same way we do for women's rights? Am not claiming that all cases against men are false or counterfeiting women’s quandary.But in some cases we need to consider man as victims and not accused. Next time don’t judge a man till he is “guilty as proven” not “guilty as charged”. Crime and criminals have no gender. Punishment to the criminal has to be equal irrespective of gender. Am neither a feminist nor misogynist but a daughter, wife, sister and a friend of a man who pays a penny to their emotion and feel compassion. 

DO YOU????





This post is not intended to violate or disregard or disrespect any provisions of the laws of our land nor are they intended for casting aspersions on any individual or for defaming or maligning anybody whomsoever.

19 comments:

  1. Wonderful post Anu!! You said it right there are several loopholes in our law....My heart goes out for such victims who are suffering just because someone else misused the law.

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    1. Thankyou Disha. Point of writing this post was to make people realize the misuse of laws in our country and how people are twisting it for their own personal advantage.

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  2. It's a courageous post, Anu:) Till there laws with loopholes, bad men&women will exploit them to no end and it feels sad that how the ladies use the law to frame the innocent. I wrote how we will protest against high profile rape case but we keep mum if it happens to a poor girl in a village. The same goes to the Kargil hero who fought for the country yet the state has forgotten the hero like Sarabjit. It's sad how politicians uses patriots for political ends. How do we ensure that few black sheep doesn't use the law. It's true not all of us are rapists and we feel the outburst at all. I personally believe in equal right for men and women but it's true women were exploited for years. Hope society changes in a positive manner. Kudos for this beautiful and thought-provoking post..truly a pinch of Anu-ism:)

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    1. Thank you vishal for a nice & kind comment. Being a women myself, no one will better know about exploitation of our sex. But we should not forget their is equal chances of mistreatment from the other side due to legal terrorism.And yes corrupt lawyers play a major part misleading victims as well as accused.

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  3. Social message well delivered. Kudos to you Anu.

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    1. Thankyou pallavi.your comment truly has encouraged me.:)

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  4. APPLAUSE! That needed saying too and hats off to you, Anu, for saying it! True - Mard ko bhi dard hota hai.

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    1. Thanks suresh for caps applause.Coming from you has boosted-up my spirits big time.:)

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  5. very nice post dear,I agree wid u,the complains of men should also be treated seriously same like complaints by women.
    Thanks for ur comment on my blog
    I am following ur blog on gfc
    Hope u cn follow back too :)
    http://vanduchoudhary.blogspot.in/

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  6. I agree with you, Anu. It's just that crimes against women far outnumber the ones against men, and are usually more heinous and brutal because women in India are generally in a weaker position financially and physically; along with being blamed for pretty much everything that happens to them. For every victimized man who is ignored by the media, the government and the public, there are probably a hundred voiceless females who have suffered at the hands of patriarchy. However, like you said, a criminal is a criminal; he or she deserves to be punished for making another human being suffer. Well written!!

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  7. A wonderful post. Sadly, these things are so deep-rooted in our system that we have gotten used to them. The shock value has been fading away which is the saddest part. I see those pseudo-men teasing women/ leering, jeering at them and my blood just boils.

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  8. What a STRONG write up Anu...yes, there are loop holes in our law. The society has overlooked what a "man" has to say to justify. We are all equal and must treated the same way.

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  9. In the hysteria of creating justice we often end up doing reverse discrimination. Hopefully all these people get justice soon enough.

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  10. 100% with you on this Anu. I have witnessed a case where a senior manager in our company was fired without notice because of a falsw complaint by a female colleague. It took few years for the HR to realize that the lady did it to get him out of way for a promotion. The painful part is while the manager had to leave the city because of false allegations, the wicked lady still enjoys being in the company because she wrote an apology letter to the CEO. As I always say, not all men are criminals. Similarly, not all women are innocent.

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  11. I have seen much worse cases where girls do a lot for money and poor in-laws suffer. Really sad to hear about your classmate.

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  12. Interesting post Anu. Definitely crime has no gender. I hope justice is done to all those who are wronged.

    Sad to hear about your classmate

    BTW: Saurabh Kalia belonged to my home town. We used to see his parents almost every week in the local club. We all were very sad on his murder. I hope the government pays heed to his parents' plea.

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  13. The preferences women get are misused nowadays. It's like whatever "she" does she gets away with it...

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  14. Frankly speaking the Law is an @#$%^ (not only here in India but all over the world)
    I think the olden day's jury system was better as its not one man's decision. Hope Capt Suresh's father gets justice.

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    ReplyDelete